Diabetic Burnout

When I was first diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes, I was determined to be the best diabetic I could be. I was relatively good at staying positive, and I took my glucose numbers seriously. I even went as far as carrying around a little notepad and documenting everything I ate, how much insulin I dosed, and what my glucose numbers were before and after meals by using a glucometer. I received praise from my endocrinologist, and my A1C was under 7.

Unfortunately, this was not sustainable. For example, I do like to run, and ride my bike, but doing those things to lower my glucose and feeling like I had to, not because I wanted to, made them less fun. In fact, I did them much less often. I also really enjoy food - and not just the healthy chicken breast and green beans either. I have to eat a heaping pile of mashed potatoes or chips and salsa once in a while. If I am a “good diabetic” and refrain from those delicious carby treats, It all backfires on me in a big way. If I deprive myself too long, I may retaliate and cram junk food in my face for days on end. I have even developed this thing I call Self Sabotage Mode. This occurs when I am eating large amounts of junk, knowing that my insulin can’t possibly keep up with it. I refer to this as Storm Eating. And I know I am already high, going higher, and I intentionally don’t stop. I have eaten a block of sharp cheddar and a full box of Wheat Thins, only to have a BG of 400, at which time I feel so terrible I have to take a  bunch more insulin and take a nap. 

This doesn’t happen too often thankfully, but more than I care to admit. I struggle with finding that happy medium.  A sustainable way to eat and live as a Type 1. Who else feels this way? What are your tricks to stay in range and be mentally healthy?

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